Indecisiveness: What Causes It & 10 Methods to Help You Make Decisions: Part 1
If you experience indecisiveness, you’re not alone. Making decisions may be a constant source of stress and anxiety. Whether it’s a major decision, like choosing a career or a life partner, or a minor decision, such as what to wear that day, being indecisive can significantly impact your life.
Struggling with indecision can be like being stuck in the mud; it’s not fun. Psychologist and philosopher William James said, “There is not a more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision.” Can you relate?
WHAT CAUSES INDECISIVENESS?
There are many factors that can cause difficulty in making decisions, such as lack of confidence or lack of information or a fear of failure or fear of success. Indecisiveness can also be a symptom of mental health conditions, such as ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), and depression. You may worry what other people will think about you. Perfectionism may be getting in your way.
-FEAR OF FAILURE: Indecisiveness can be a learned behavior. If you’re raised in an environment where decision making is seen as an opportunity to learn and grow, then you’re probably more comfortable making choices.
If you’re raised in a home where a parent criticizes you for making a poor decision, you may avoid making decisions for fear of being seen as a failure. These fears may carry into adulthood and lead to indecisiveness as an unconscious coping strategy. The stress and anxiety associated with making decisions leads to an avoidance of them, both small and large.
In this way, decision making can have a negative impact on your self-worth. A ‘good’ decision increases self-worth, whereas a ‘bad’ decision leads to self-criticism.
The mere thought of making a decision can be paralyzing. So, you tend to default to the relative safety of indecision.
-PERFECTIONISM: which can lead to health problems, including: depression, anxiety, burnout. This occurs when you categorize your decisions as ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’ (The truth is that a ‘wrong’ decision may teach you more than a ‘right’ one and may lead you in your ‘right’ direction).
Being indecisive isn’t always bad. Sometimes, hesitation gives you some valuable time to think about the situation and to gather more needed information and weigh the facts. The important thing is to not let indecision keep you forever stuck.
-PARENTAL AND FAMILY INFLUENCE: the root of your indecision may go back to your early, formative years and parental/family influence and sometimes, trauma.
-PEOPLE PLEASING: if you’re constantly worrying about what others think, you may be continuously struggling internally between one choice (what you want) and another choice (what others want).
-LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE: Focus on what matters. Don’t get lost in the details and get overwhelmed. Don’t lose sight of your real goals, intentions and dreams.
-LACK OF CONFIDENCE: if you feel insecure, you may be able to choose the ‘right’ decision but may have trouble sticking to it. Self-doubt may even mean you procrastinate.
-LACK OF INFORMATION/KNOWLEDGE: this is more due to circumstances than to your internal environment. You must have enough information on whatever the subject is that you need to decide on.
-ABOULOMANIA: this is a mental disorder, when a person shows signs of pathological indecision. It becomes an obsession and severely affects their daily lives. This is diagnosable, so you can get professional help.
-A SYMPTOM OF A MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION: indecisiveness may be a symptom of: major depressive disorder, ADHD, stress, anxiety, dependent personality disorder, Alzheimer’s disease and childhood trauma.
WHAT ARE THE DOWNSIDES?
If indecision lasts too long, it becomes a problem. How long is too long depends on the situation and circumstances.
Also, you’ve heard it said that ‘not making a decision is a decision.’ In this way, indecision can become decision by default. If you decide not to decide, you’re giving up your power of choice. Someone else may get your dream home or your job….
Though making decisions may be difficult, the good news is that, like any skill, you can learn it and `get better at it with practice and time. There are some effective methods that can help with decision making……
In the next blog post, we’ll go over 10 Methods to Help You Make Decisions.
Here is a quote you may relate to, by Emiljano Citaku:
“If you have ever felt inadequate, paralyzed between options and unable to decide, you are not an indecisive person. You are a person who lacks decisive skill sets!”
With smiles and love,
Dr Gigi
PS: It was great getting away for a bit and it’s great to be back, for a new year, full of hope, promise, learning, growth and joy………..and hopefully, to meet you!
Sign up for your free Clarity Call with me @www.gigiarnaud.com.
I look forward to starting 2023 on the right foot…….with you😊
Change your Thoughts, Change your Mind, Change your World