Ready to Break the Chains of Intergenerational Trauma?

 In the Jewish liturgy, there is an expression that comes up often: “Mee dor l’dor” (transliterated from the Hebrew), which means ‘from generation to generation.’ It seems that the good and the not so good, gets handed down from generation to generation. Part of the not so good is intergenerational trauma.

But…….even with intergenerational trauma, there is good. You, often become more compassionate and understanding of the suffering of other people and, you may also develop more resilience, a good and helpful quality for life. In other words, you can achieve PTG: POST TRAUMATIC GROWTH.

You can even aspire to the most important role of all……to break the chain of this trauma (for the most part). Emotional healing is possible…and, though it can follow a ‘rollercoaster ride’ path (lots of ups and downs), it can shift your way of thinking and subsequently, your behaviors, actions…..and your destiny.

There’s been a lot of talk and many books written on the subject of intergenerational trauma, which is also called generational or transgenerational trauma.

Whatever you want to name it, it’s the psychological and physiologic effects that the trauma experienced  by people has on subsequent generations in that group. (Knowledge)

Intergenerational trauma is a concept developed to help explain years of generational challenges within families (ie: racism, antisemitism, poverty, abuse, neglect, etc.). It’s the transmission (or sending down to younger generations) of the oppressive or traumatic effects of a historical event(s).

UNDERSTANDING INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA:

Have you heard people say, “This runs in my family” or “this has been passed down from generation to generation?.” As we mentioned above, both the helpful and the challenging and not as helpful, can be passed down through the generations. A trait that you notice in your life may have nothing to do with your particular life or the life of your parents. It may be handed down from generations before (and epigenetically, too).

This involves the response and the subsequent impacts, of a devastating, distressing or disturbing event or events. Harmful results of trauma experienced by a relative(s) of a cultural group in the past can impact generations to come……and, as mentioned previously, often without any of these generations knowing it.

MY HER-STORY:

My son often says, “everyone’s got a story.” He’s right……..of course.

Here’s a bit of mine.  I have struggled with intergenerational trauma (with some developmental trauma mixed in) my entire life. I just didn’t know it and certainly, didn’t know what it’s called. My parents were both French Jews, from Paris, who had to hide for their lives, during WWII and the Holocaust (Shoa). They were ‘hidden children’ Holocaust survivors.

To be honest, there was way too much deep sadness, anger and rage, within our house. It was loud, chaotic, based on fear, with constant emergency situations (mentally ill relatives) and lots of screaming and fighting.

As a child, I loved the French and European culture (French, Austrian, of my parents and grandmothers) that made our suburban home different from others in the Long Island, NY, neighborhood we lived in. I also knew that something wasn’t right about the way my family reacted to situations. There were not many lulls, for calm and peace. My parents, brother and I, all had dysregulated nervous systems. For a long time, it (consciously) felt like ‘normal’ to me….but, it wasn’t ‘normal’ at all. It’s amazing how children will adapt to their environment: physical, mental, emotional……..in order to survive and to be loved. That’s exactly what our minds do……they adapt to our ‘normalcy,’ which feels safe or familiar (though may not be ‘normal’).

When I was 35 years old, I was chosen to be in a play (as an actor), aptly named, “Children Of….”. All 14 of us were children of Holocaust survivors, who were from different countries with differing experiences. I was pregnant with my son, so this was ‘perfect timing.’ (remember “mee dor l’dor:’ from generation to generation).

This particular theatre experience was a cathartic as well as a learning experience. Believe it or not, up to this point, I didn’t think of my folks as Holocaust survivors. I knew they were ‘hidden children’ as French-Jewish children hiding for their lives.  At this time, survivors were considered the folks who were in the many concentration camps built and run by the Nazis.

In American society of the time, we also didn’t talk about ‘trauma.’ We just lived with it-----------and suffered!

Personally, I suffered for several decades (most of my life) with OCD (an anxiety disorder) and other anxiety and, at times, low-level depression. I can’t even count the number of therapists, coaches, courses and books, that I went through, in order to comprehend how I could be so high-functioning on the outside (ie: dentist, dental practice owner, mostly single mom, etc.) and so sad (low-level depression) and constantly nervous and stressed on the inside. Please be aware that there are many, many people who go through this. So, have empathy and be kind! Everyone is going through something.

It has taken me a lifetime of challenges, difficulties and working through my (hidden, developmental) trauma. I can now say that it’s worth the work…….and a lot of inner work it was and is. There has been a large shift. For the first time in my life, I feel somewhat at peace (inner). I go more with the flow’ now and I’ve slowed down and let myself just be……….and let life flow.

I’m still a ‘doer;’ I just forgive myself faster when I make a step backward (which we will do as humans) and I allow myself (finally) to feel all my feelings….the good, the bad and the ugly. I’ve learned that you’ve got to ‘feel it to heal it.’ And it’s true that ‘what you resist, persists,’ and in less than favorable ways.

Back to: UNDERSTANDING & HEALING INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA:

Here are some of the EFFECTS & EXAMPLES of Intergenerational Trauma:

According to Betterhelp, individuals, families, and groups affected by the trauma of an ancestor (or a group of ancestors) can experience emotional, physical and cognitive reactions, anxiety disorders and traumatic stress. Reactions to trauma may include anger, fear, sadness, shame, a lack of emotions, high-risk behavior, Substance Use Disorder, eating disorders, or learned helplessness (inability to control the personal environment or feeling unequipped to take action), among other post-traumatic effects, like an anxiety disorde (s).

Younger generations may also experience trauma-related physical health issues; sleep disorders or gastrointestinal issues (such as chronic stomach pain, IBS) are just two examples. Cognitive effects related to thinking or reasoning may linger for generations after trauma. For instance, a person might incorrectly think safe situations are dangerous, experience intrusive thoughts about the trauma, or be distrustful of everything. These effects can be healed with the help of good therapy, coaching or both (particularly with experience with trauma), and more.

HISTORICAL TRAUMA:

This is sometimes called collective trauma or cultural trauma and is a type of intergenerational trauma experienced by a specific cultural group that has been systematically oppressed or harmed. The traumatic past of a group of adults can continue to impact descendants in the present and future. Examples of cultural groups who may experience traumatic stress and effects for generations include: Holocaust survivors, descendants of slaves, prisoners of war and displaced First People or indigenous groups (ie: Native Americans). This list is not exhaustive……..unfortunately.

HEALING:

Understanding and intervening in trauma that spans generations is crucial to help everyone heal from past harm, empower those living in the present, break free from the cycle for their mental wellness, and disrupt the harmful cycle so that the effects of trauma aren’t passed on to future generations.

Various types of therapy, coaching, somatic work, and other professional help, make a positive difference.

Family therapy can also be helpful. Of course, individual family members can look at the trauma in the context of the family and culture and learn to allow (and permit) themselves to focus on self, to heal, to manage traumatic stress, and to separate themselves from the trauma of previous generations.

Culturally responsive therapy can be effective. This is culturally sensitive and focuses on an individual’s and group’s strengths and resourcefulness.

Another option is medication, for those experiencing more severe symptoms, like PTSD or complex-PTSD. Some of these meds just take the edge off, so that healing is less stressful…………..and more successful.

If you’re not thinking about therapy, you can utilize strategies and activities to strengthen your mind and thought habits and to be more aware of and in touch with your bodily sensations and emotions (connecting your subconscious beliefs, and thoughts to your conscious awareness).

Social connection can help as isolation can be harmful to your emotional health. With intergenerational trauma, building meaningful connections with people outside of your family can offer a sense of support. Having these other relationships also give you new and different perspectives on how others cope with problems (preferably those with healthy, regulated nervous systems and responses).

Build positive connections: join a support group, volunteer, forge friendships and do things that bring you joy within groups (ie: Meetup, InterNations, singing groups, spiritual groups, etc.) 

Self-care is something I recommend to my Life Coach in NYC clients, and my Mindset Coach and Hypnotherapy clients. Get regular and restful sleep to help with emotional regulation.

Eat well, in a healthy and mindful way.

Exercise and movement release endorphins (good hormones) to fuel positive feelings and sensations.

Deep breathing, meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, grounding, are all soothing and can offer you a respite from negative thoughts and feelings related to trauma.

Expressing gratitude is always important and helps us to see the good, with a decreased focus on the negative. What we focus on grows!

Setting boundaries is vital and is another form of self-care.

Building resilience helps with all mental health (and everyday life) issues. It helps us adapt in the face of difficulties. Learning from the past, from what has impacted us negatively, can help us figure out how to move forward in a helpful, productive and strong way.

Positive self-talk…. about your personal strengths, gifts, talents, traits (which we all have) can help with resilience. An optimistic outlook helps!

NOTE: I’m repeating much of the information that I wrote about in a former blog post (link here: Breaking the Chains…..of Intergenerational Trauma: Part 1) here. To make changes in your brain/mind and to change your subconscious (automatic, default) thoughts, you must REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT! It takes thousands of repetitions to change a subconscious belief or thought that may be buried down deep, in your subconscious. So, keep repeating and keep practicing. You can do it……………and it’s certainly worth it!

With smiles & love,

Dr Gigi

PS: If you’re feeling challenged and want support, encouragement, motivation, and understanding, with any of the above, please contact me, for information, suggestions and/or referrals, gigiarnaud.com or on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram.

I look forward to meeting you and getting to know you!

Change your Mind, Change your Life