I Hope You Dance (In and For Life)

 A few years ago, a renowned life coach and wonderful person, asked me to write a one-page story about why I became a life coach.

I started my assignment, did the inner work, calmed my body and mind down and listened to my quieter inner voice. What came up was one of the biggest issues that had really affected and changed my life for decades to come. It was all about creativity; more specifically, my own creative essence and my immigrant parents’ view of how and where to express it…….or not.

At the time I originally wrote this, I hadn’t quite dealt with and come to terms with the anger and rage I felt for not being allowed to express the ‘full, unabridged, very creative version of me’. As a young girl, I loved drawing, dancing, writing, creating and acting in shows with the other neighborhood kids. These pursuits and activities gave me joy and calm and kept me ‘in the flow’, a big plus when the chaos in our household reached its highest pitches.

Intellectually, I understood and even forgave my mom for pushing me into what she called a ‘practical’ direction. Really, it was the path she had hoped to take as a young girl….and wasn’t able to. My parents’ childhoods were mostly spent hiding for their lives during WWII. They were French Jewish ‘hidden children’ at the time of the Holocaust. So yes, my maman was, probably, unintentionally, trying to live through me.

This repressed the largely creative and flourishing side of me and subsequently challenged me in becoming who I was meant to be….me. This conditioning formed the mindset I followed and lived by, for decades after.

At one point, though I looked sunny and smiling on the outside, I was stuck, struggling and in a lot of pain on the inside. I became more and more curious about how our brains, mind and emotions work and I set myself on the path of doing the work, both inner and outer, to re-discover the real, true me and re-find my natural ‘joie de vivre’ (zest for life). 

In my career as a dentist in private practice, my more ‘pragmatic path’, I learned and studied a lot about science and later, about neuroscience, epigenetics, psychology and the workings of the mind.

I was healing, learning and growing. I became stronger, and more resilient and courageous. Finally----I became myself and joy, peace of mind, meaning and fulfillment started blossoming in my mind and in my life.

Here’s what I wrote for that coach (circa 2007):

At four years of age, I told my mother I wanted to be a dancer. Although I danced (ballet) until I was 12 and was offered the opportunity to study with teachers in New York City, my mother didn’t think this was the “right” field for me.

I loved the study of art and communications but was discouraged from pursuing a creative major because it wasn’t “practical” enough.

I chose dentistry because at least it gave me the opportunity to work with my hands.

I’m a good and successful dentist. I’ve practiced privately and taught in both Israel and in in NYC (at Columbia University). But….

I feel limited by the possibilities in dentistry.

I’ve been an actor, a painter and hypnotherapist. I’ve lived in Israel for five years and spent much time in France. (I’m the daughter of French immigrant parents). I’ve been exposed to people from all over the world and lived and worked with them. I love being a part of diverse cultures and the challenge of adapting to various ways of thinking and of approaching life.

Friends and patients have always been comfortable confiding in me. People have often approached me to talk about their lives and aspirations. It is clear that I am genuinely interested in their stories and their dreams. I enjoy offering encouragement and motivation.

I first learned about the field of life and business coaching several years ago and it intrigued me. I received professional training and began to see clients.

I still love to dance. But my stage is now much bigger. My dance today is with, and for, life. My philosophy is that it is vital to step into the ‘dance of your life’ and not just be a spectator. It can best be expressed in the words of the song, “I Hope You Dance.”

“I hope you still feel small

When you stand beside the ocean,

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,

Promise me you’ll give faith a fighting chance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance. I hope you dance.”

-Leanne Womack

Now it’s your turn! You may want to try this as an exercise. A first step to the true YOU is self-awareness. Are you ready to take that first, small step?

I hope you go for it! I’m here for you……

I hope you dance!