It’s time……..to talk about trauma, which so many of us live with, including yours truly (intergenerational mostly).

It doesn’t matter whether you’ve experienced Big T trauma or Little T trauma. Most of us have been through some kind of trauma, whether big, small or tiny. Though we may like to think otherwise, most of us humans did not have perfect childhoods.

 

What is TRAUMA?

Let’s say that it’s an emotional shock of some kind occurring after a deeply distressing, disturbing and stressful event or experience. This experience may have caused overwhelming amounts of stress, exceeding the person’s ability to cope with or integrate the emotions involved and can lead to long-term, serious and often negative consequences.

 

Here is some helpful INFORMATION:

-Big T trauma, which can cause PTSD, is usually caused by a specific life-changing event. This can be frightening, violent, disturbing, injuring your body and your mind. Some examples are: sexual abuse, war, physical assault, terrorism, natural disaster and catastrophic events.

-Little T trauma is about the unmet needs experienced during our early childhood development (developmental trauma). It can have a profound and lasting impact on you as well as Big T trauma. Some examples are: divorce, addictions, emotional abuse and neglect, worries.

Remember that your subconscious mind is always trying to keep you safe, which means the familiar and ‘comfortable,’ even when it’s not really healthy for you or very comfortable either.

These small, sustained traumas get absorbed over time and can do mental and physical damage we’re not aware of.

 

-There is increasing evidence that unresolved trauma can cause disease in the mind and the body. It can cause epigenetic changes, which can then be passed on to your children and future generations (ie: intergenerational trauma). Your genes (and DNA) do not change but let’s say that the on-off switch for your genes does.

-Everyone reacts differently to trauma; signs and symptoms vary.

-Identifying and acknowledging your trauma is the first and hardest step to deep healing. Many of us don’t know we have it; it is often tucked away in our subconscious; we are not consciously aware of it. It is often an emotional and sometimes, physical scar from something that happened in the past.

 

How TRAUMA shows up:

-It can be set off by a trigger, which is anything, including memories, experiences or events—that sparks an intense emotional reaction, regardless of your current mood. An example could be that a war veteran with PTSD hears a loud car sound, and is ‘taken back’ to a combat situation that was traumatic.

-It impacts our thinking and our nervous system, which often becomes dysregulated and trapped in the sympathetic nervous systems’ (SNS) ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response.  We are constantly on alert and our body is on overdrive. In this way, our behavior is transformed if we don’t find a way to get it out.

-Often, addiction and chronic illness can be traced back to childhood trauma. These are actually ‘hints’ that you may have experienced some kind of trauma.

 

HEALING Trauma:

-You can’t change what happened but you can choose (through conscious awareness) to manage what happened, learn from it and perhaps, make it a part of WHO you become in the future (a better self). Finding MEANING to your trauma is necessary to working through it. You may want to read the book by the well-known Austrian psychiatrist and author, Dr. Viktor Frankl, ‘Man’s Search for Meaning.’

-Kindness, gentleness, compassion and love, mostly towards yourself, is helpful and vital in healing trauma.

It’s important to discover or re-discover WHO you really are (your authentic self) and to include your trauma as part of your life and part of you, even if just for learning, growth and for contributing to making you who you are today.

 

WAYS TO HEAL:

1) FEEL your feelings! You can’t ignore your true feelings and get to the real you. You must integrate and accept all sides of you, all of your feelings; what you deem to be good or bad, positive or negative……… no judging here….

You want to: stop numbing or distracting yourself from your more negative and uncomfortable emotions. You must FEEL them all!

Take a look at how and with what you’re numbing or distracting yourself from your hard feelings: alcohol, sex, social media, overeating, etc.

Learn to let your feelings wash over you. Sit with them. You can ask me about the NTT: negative thought time exercise and the HEAL exercise, for focusing on your positive experiences, which offsets the negativity bias we all have in our minds. These are really good ways to start training yourself to allow yourself to FEEL ALL your emotions. This may bring up past memories; you may feel it in your body. So, be good to yourself. Validate yourself. Ask yourself what you need.

 

2) Self-love and self-care: Figure out what calms and soothes your trauma reactions, ie: meditation, visualization, hot baths and one of my favorites, lavender; having fun: dancing, adventures, drawing, painting, coloring………..

-You can learn to re-parent your ‘Inner child’ in your present adult life.

-Invest in yourself: your energy, your health, your time and your money, too. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

 

3)Connect and support your body. To help release trauma, you can go to a coach, therapist, hypnotherapist, for EMDR (eye movement therapy), EFT (tapping), yoga and more. Get massages, dance around your home freely as if no one’s watching. Find ways to care for and relax your body! Some of my favorite ways include: lavender body lotion after an evening shower or bath, dancing freely and by myself to uplifting music I love, and lavender sachets placed all over my home, including my bedroom. Lavender is relaxing and fresh lavender bundles even help to keep away some insects.

 

4)Find you and Be YOU: who you are, what you want and need, and your dreams and desires.

-WRITE it down! Get it out of your head and onto paper. This also helps connect your mind and your heart.

 

5)Integrate all parts of yourself and create your unique and best life, one that makes YOU happy, and not necessarily other’s ideas of who you ‘should’ be and how you ‘should’ live your life.

 

Healing through and from your trauma will increase your self-esteem, self-worth and self-love. It will help you recover from addictions (ie: drugs, people-pleasing, dating unavailable men/women). You will feel more at peace----in your mind and body.

 

In my next blog, we will get into more detail about IDENTIFYING and HEALING from trauma.

 

You deserve self-love, peace, contentment and joy. You are worthy. You are enough!

 

With smiles and love,

Dr Gigi

 

PS: Please leave your comments or share your experiences at my website@www.gigiarnaud.com. If you want to talk or learn about trauma or want/need a guide on your path to healing, please connect with me at my website: (link to website) or on social media.