Talk About Trauma: Part 2

Let’s continue our talk about trauma. In the last blog, I shared some information about trauma: what it is, how it shows up and ways to start healing it. Here’s a quick recap. Most trauma that we experience, even in our present adult lives, comes from early childhood (0-7 years). It is during this formative time that your subconscious mind absorbs what it’s learning from your parents, caregivers, school, religious and cultural institutions, your community, culture and society. These absorbed beliefs and thought patterns become our conditioned, automatic and default settings that seem to lead much of our behavior and life. Many of us continue to live our lives on this ‘automatic pilot.’

We weren’t born this way. We came into the world being and knowing who we really are and we seem to lose or forget much of this. It’s often our default subconscious mind keeping us on this automatic pilot and controlling our beliefs, thought patterns, behaviors, actions; in other words, our life. And these beliefs and thoughts are often not even ours…………..

This time, let’s talk more about IDENTIFYING and HEALING trauma.

Many, if not most of us, have experienced some kind of trauma in our lives: Big T or Little T trauma, and may not even know it. We just know that something is off, not right, empty, unfulfilling….You may feel stuck, conflicted, sad, stressed, unfulfilled, uncomfortable…..or have different TRAUMA RESPONSES: hypervigilance, dysregulated nervous system, ‘automatic’ reactivity instead of responsiveness, high levels of fear, anxiety, chronic illness, anxiety and/or depression disorders, ‘fight or flight’ and dissociation responses and more. It is essential to recognize these and understand that they may be part of survival or coping mechanisms in response to trauma that you may have experienced. Taking this first step to IDENTIFY and to not minimize this experience of trauma, is vital to healing it. Getting help and support (ie: therapy, coaching, medical care) is often necessary on this healing journey.

Just know this…… You are not alone! So many of us have had some kind of trauma in this life, myself included. In my case, it includes intergenerational, as well as developmental trauma. (Please refer to my previous blog for a definition and foundational facts about trauma).

How to IDENTIFY Trauma and Trauma Responses:

-you feel STUCK or your life path is derailed

-trauma can show up in many ways: physically, mentally, emotionally, even spiritually

-you’re repeating negative thought and behavior patterns over and over again (ie: same kind of relationship, just a different person).

-with trauma, negative energy gets stored in your body and must be released, so that dis-ease doesn’t happen (ie: physical, mental, emotional).

-it’s NOT true that ‘time heals all wounds.’ With trauma, time can bury these wounds and conceal them.

What Helps to HEAL Trauma:

-Exercise/Movement

-Eating non-inflammatory foods reduces toxins in your body. With less toxins, there are more neurotransmitters in your brain so that you feel more grounded and centered.

-Since the ‘same old thinking’ gives you the ‘same old results,’ it’s vital to change your thinking/mindset.

It’s TIME to Heal:

-Including: mind, body and spirit in our healing is important. We are holistic beings.

-In trauma, it may be difficult for you to hear your own inner voice and trust your intuition. Over time, you can learn to do this and want to, to live your best, most fulfilling life, aligned with the real you.

-As is true with this Covid pandemic, your life after will encompass a ‘new normal,’ most likely a better, healthier, happier and more self-aligned one. Enjoy this NEW NORMAL. You’re like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

It’s a JOURNEY-----the Healing Journey:

When we have experienced trauma, our bodies often and automatically go into ‘survival mode.’ Remember that the primary job of your subconscious mind is to keep you safe, meaning it keeps you in what is familiar to you, what you know. When you have experienced trauma (Big T or Small T over an extended period of time), your subconscious mind feels in almost constant threat and goes into the ‘fight or flight or freeze’ mode for survival. Your sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is activated and stress hormones are continually released. This keeps you in a state of heightened anxiety and you can become exhausted. Your adrenal glands are overworked, you feel quite tired and your energy is depleted. Your immune system becomes compromised and you can get sick.

The ‘survival mode’ scenario above is not healing. This survival mode is ‘automatic’. Healing, on the other hand, takes desire (and choice).

For healing, it’s necessary to connect with the pain of your trauma, not shut it out, avoid it, distract yourself from it or bury it, as so many of us try to do.

It’s really important to understand that trauma is not a punishment, though it can feel like it. It’s an experience or event that happened to you. It is NOT your fault. Yes; it feels like your life will never be the same after trauma-------and it won’t be!

With healing, you have an opportunity to come out stronger and more in alignment with who you really are and who you were born to be. It gives you an increased ability to connect and empathize with yourself and consequently, with others.

Finding meaning and purpose in your trauma plays a big role in trauma recovery. You may want to read the well-known book by the late Austrian psychiatrist and concentration camp survivor, Dr Viktor Frankl, ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’. It will give you hints and hope about healing and recovering from trauma.

More HEALING:

Self-care is great for healing (and for life): ie: breathing, treating your mind, body and spirit with love. Some examples include: baths, massages, dancing freely, good food, good company---connecting with healthy, loving folks.

Also, unplug once in a while and pay close attention to your intuition and inner voice. By the way, your body often gives you the first signs and impulses that let you know to take care and take action.

There is lots of fear involved in trauma responses. They can be more like reactions than responses. Your healing needs HOPE and COMPASSION (for yourself, mostly).

Be kind to yourself; forgiveness, compassion, empathy, of yourself and others, helps enormously with change.

Though it may sound cliché, SELF LOVE is vital. YOU are your primary relationship. Self-love moves you past trauma without shutting yourself down to life. It allows you to find real meaning and purpose and to express it in the world.

Be patient with yourself. Remember also to be patient with others; you never know what another human being may be going through….Healing trauma takes time; it’s a long journey. Understand this, accept it and even, embrace it.

Pat yourself on the back for each small step or victory on your path. (Read my blog, It’s Time for a Pat on the Back, to see how helpful this can be…).

NEVER give up! You are NOT ALONE! (Feeling empty and lonely is a big part of trauma). You are not only enough. You are LOVED!

In the next blog post, we’ll discuss intergenerational/inherited trauma and I’ll tell you a bit of my story and how I had to accept it, work through it (it took me decades) and how my life has transformed with healing. Yes; there are also rewards and gifts that come with trauma. Sometimes, you may even find your purpose and also help others with theirs…….

With smiles and love,

Dr Gigi 

PS: If you have questions relating to trauma, mindset change or hypnosis, you can reach me @www.gigiarnaud.com

Wishing you the best on this healing journey, I’d be honored to be your ‘guide’.