Living Well With Trauma: Post-Traumatic Growth
You can and must heal trauma and even, live well with it. It may take time, in addition to courage, self-compassion and consistency. It’s worth the sometimes-tough ride. I know because I’ve been there.
I looked (and was) accomplished, seemed confident and smiling on the outside but this was my mask (or persona) hiding the real truth lurking beneath the surface. What I really felt was: so sad, stuck, stressed and starving for love and attention-----my own, that is-------self-love. We’re not talking about the woo-woo, I’m gorgeous, version. It’s the self-love that includes self-acceptance, of all parts of you; the good, bad, pretty, ugly………….This kind of self-love is where it all starts. It sounds cliché but it is said and often repeated for good reason; it’s true.
In the last three blog posts, we talked about trauma: what it is, the different types and how to identify and start healing it. Now, we get to the ‘good part’: post-traumatic growth (PTG). Not many folks hear of or understand the good that can come from the experience of trauma; of any or all kinds. It can change your life and even allow you to become WHO you really and authentically are, and understand WHAT you’re meant to do. Many of us who have had trauma in our lives become helpers and healers (therapists, coaches, physicians and more); a really good thing.
Post-traumatic growth gives our innate creativity (we all have it) permission to fly and also, space to shine through, whether it be through painting, writing (my favorites) or in business, creating solutions at work or at home and/or in your personal life.
What is POST-TRAUMATIC GROWTH (PTG):
PTG is positive psychological change experienced as a result of adversity and other challenges in order to rise to a higher level of functioning. If you think about why we’re here, I think many of us would agree that it’s for love, joy, contentment, expression of our unique selves, along with our gifts-------in essence, to discover who we are and to learn, change and grow. With PTG, you get mighty big growth spurts and you may even learn resilience as a bonus (there is a difference between the two).
Many of us who have lived through and survived trauma find positive change, a new appreciation for life, a newfound sense of personal strength and a new focus on helping others. My personal trauma led me to healing; first, as a dentist and presently, as a Mindset coach, hypnotherapist and speaker.
Some Happy Talk: SIGNS of Post-Traumatic Growth:
-appreciation of life
-new possibilities in life
-relationship with others
-personal/inner strength
-spiritual change
-increased self-esteem and connectedness to others
-a renewed sense of meaning and purpose
-certain traits increase the likelihood of PTG, such as: optimism, openness to new experiences
- getting help, such as: therapy, coaching and other treatment modalities; these facilitate progress
A Weird JUXTAPOSITION:
It can seem that trauma itself and PTG are two opposing forces, but they’re not; they can often occur at the same time and they can work hand in hand. So, you experience the negative effects of trauma and, at the same time, report positive effects for your present and future life.
With Big T trauma (refer to previous blog posts: Talk about Trauma), ie: war, sexual/physical abuse, persistent poverty, persecution, oppression, you can more easily recognize it as trauma. With Small T trauma, you may have had neglect and abandonment in small doses over an extended period of time. So, you may not realize that there is/was trauma present. Personally, I had experienced small T trauma and didn’t realize it for decades……..
Here are some SYMPTOMS of psychological trauma:
-shock, denial or disbelief
-confusion, difficulty concentrating
-anger, irritability, mood swings
-anxiety and fear; panic attacks
-guilt, shame, self-blame, depression
-withdrawing from others
-feeling sad or hopeless
-feeling disconnected, detached or emotionally numb
-fear
-obsessions and compulsions
-physical problems: ie: difficulty falling or staying asleep, becoming easily startled, hypervigilance and edginess, rapid heartbeat, unexplained aches and pains, sexual dysfunction, altered eating patterns, muscle tension and extreme exhaustion.
Many of these symptoms are caused by a dysregulated nervous system, constantly on alert (fight or flight response). This affects the adrenal glands and exhaustion can set in, along with other physical symptoms.
In summary, it is vital to your health: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual, to:
-IDENTIFY that trauma is present
-get HELP/SUPPORT to start healing
-HEAL trauma and be patient and persistent. It can be a long and challenging road…
-CHANGE your life for the better (post-traumatic growth).
You are not alone. You are loved. You are strong. You are worth the effort. You are ENOUGH---just as you are!
With smiles and love,
Dr Gigi
PS: Please contact me @www.gigiarnaud.com, if you want/need help on this often-challenging journey. I’m here for you and with you.