Maybe because I come from immigrant parents, French immigrants who survived WWII and the Holocaust, and maybe because we didn’t have all that much money and had to wait for certain things that we wanted, and maybe because I often heard my mother say, “Life is not a bowl of cherries,” and understood that from the suffering of close family members…………….I knew that life was made up of choices and decisions, that didn’t necessarily feel like choices, and that may have given one less time and energy to do what they really wanted and dreamed of.

I have always understood that we must stick to our essential values, even when it wasn’t easy and that we had to make choices accordingly. In a way, I was lucky. I’ve always been an intensely curious person and multi passionate. Even if I make it to 120 years, it wouldn’t be enough time to be and do all that I want to. Boredom is not in my DNA; there’s always more to be, to do, to learn, to experience, to dream of………

In my baby boomer generation, we were often given the idea that ‘we could have it all,’ even women………..But it’s not really true, is it? Or perhaps, partially true. We may be able to have it all, but not at the same time. Really though, even if we lived one or two long lifetimes, there’s so much to choose from, so much to see and experience and discover.

With this knowledge and way too many choices in recent years; ie: what to watch, what to do, where to travel to, what social media (if any) to be a part of, which people to choose as friends, partners, colleagues, it can be tough to choose one thing over another and leave the doubt behind. The hyper-communication in our present world shows so many different and often, exciting-looking ways of being and doing  (though many are not true), that many of us have developed FOMO: the fear of missing out.

This exponential increase in the number of choices we have to make, even on a daily basis, can cause us stress, anxiety, depression, hyperstimulation of our nervous systems, fatigue, burn out and more. We are meant to rest, take a break, take time for silence (with ourselves), daydream, let our imaginations fly and our creativity soar. We need some TIME OUT!

 

So, how do we make the choices that match with our purpose(s), values………….in essence, with who we are and what we’re meant to do? We have to learn to PICK your PRIORITY!

 

The definition (Dictionary) of the word priority:

-the fact or condition of being regarded or treated as more important.

-a thing that is regarded as more important than another.

-(British) the right to take precedence or to proceed before others.

 

You’ll notice that it’s a singular word. A priority is one thing. So, if we say to pick a priority, really we should be talking about one thing. In our current lives, where there’s so much more information and so many choices, we talk about priorities (plural). As a Life & Mindset Coach (NYC) & Hypnotherapist, I ask my clients to choose their most essential priorities (plural), by feeling (body), thinking (mind), asking others how they see and feel them…….and writing them down. Then, they pare them down to the 5 most essential values. We have to choose which are most vital and essential to who we authentically are and what we’re here to do, give and share, with others and with the world.

These will often change over a lifetime, depending on the stage of life that you’re in and aligning with the true you and what is important for you to accomplish in your life. It’s often a coming together of what you love, what you’re good at (skills, talents, gifts), what the world needs (helping, service) and what you can make a living from (if need be, at the stage you’re in).

 

I’ll give you some examples from my own life. I’m a baby boomer and have had many experiences in my life: the good, the bad and the ugly.

When I was a young girl growing up in the NY suburbs, I knew that having a career (not at all a given in my generation) and not being a housewife (as my grandmother wanted for me) was for me, and I decided I would have a life of interesting and helpful (service) work, travel, adventure and a family life, too.

As I got older, I did pursue a career as a dentist and did lots of travel and had a family. When I divorced my son’s father (who wasn’t around), I had to make a choice. Do I work a lot and make more money or do I work less, make a good living (less money) and spend more time with my son? I knew my values (and we all have different ones; no judgement) and I wanted to raise a healthy boy to become a kind, curious, intelligent and open-minded mensch (Yiddish word for a good person). Though money was necessary (living in the NY area is costly), I decided we could live in a smaller house, buy a safe car (not fancy) and I’d save in whatever way I could (I learned to spend less, waste less and chose quality over quantity). I learned many ways of saving money and making it work for me. Since I hadn’t been interested in learning about finances before, I knew it was time to learn. I read, went to meetings with financial folks, asked questions and chose experts and mentors who could help me.

When it came to travel, I learned how to collect frequent flyer points and these paid for many of our trips (with my son).  I didn’t buy name brand clothes or bags. To be honest, it’s not my thing anyway. Instead of buying books, we took them out from our excellent local library.

I realized that, doing this, not only enabled me to live by my values; it also taught my son these values: of family, health, love, friendship, the importance of people over things, the importance of experiences (ie: travel, camp, sports) over things and being a decent, honest, trustworthy and kind human being. And he is all these things. I’m a proud mom.

 

Friends; the truth is that if you don’t pick your priority or priorities and your most essential values, then life will choose them for you. Other people will choose them for you. And you may end up wondering why you spent so much energy, effort and time on other people’s choices and priorities and not your own.

 

Here’s another simple and powerful truth:  our time on this earth is limited. It’s shorter and it goes way faster than we think. So, figure out your purpose(s), priority(ies) and passions and get to them……….immediately.

If you need help, go for it! It’s great to have a ‘partnership’ to clarify your values, thoughts, ideas and to write them down, make a plan of action………..and to get to it.

 

The time is now! You pick your priority(ies) for now and after, you may choose a different one that aligns with your new life and after that, different ones that align with your ongoing and different stages and on and on……….

 

You’ll be pleasantly surprised that when you pick your priorities for what works for you now, you can be more fully present in the moment and more peaceful, joyful and happier in your life. You’ll reduce your anxiety and sadness, when you pick what to focus on and act on (your priorities).

You’ll not only feel lighter and more joyful, you’ll also find that you’re able to accomplish more……….just one step at a time, one stage at a time and one priority (or just a few) at a time.

 

Pick your Priorities, Enjoy the Present Moment & Live Life Fully!

 

With smiles & love,

Dr Gigi

 

Change your Mind, Change your Life