Intergenerational Trauma: Effects & Healing
We’ll often return to the subject of trauma in these blog posts; most of us have or will experience it in one way or another. For now, though, this will be the last in this series about: Intergenerational (transgenerational, generational. historic) trauma. There is a lot of research being done in this field…..
As mentioned in a previous post, when I spoke a bit about my own intergenerational trauma, it took me until the age of 35 years and the fact that I was an actor in a play about second generation or the kids of Holocaust survivors, until I realized what my ‘problem’ and not so healthy responses and reactions were about. I know that many people may also experience mental health issues, like anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and not know where they come from. Often, the symptoms may look similar.
It helps to look closely and see if you have signs and symptoms of intergenerational trauma. It also helps to get help, when it comes to working through and healing trauma.
SIGNS & SYMPTOMS of Intergenerational Trauma (IT): (Healthline: Crystal Raypole)
As we mentioned, it can be difficult to recognize IT, since many of the signs are also associated with PTSD and depression. Also, the signs and symptoms of trauma may vary widely from person to person and from family to family. Also, a person can become so accustomed to living with IT that it’s accepted as ‘normal.’ That’s why I didn’t recognize it until it was placed right in front of my face. The trauma becomes normalized and the symptoms appear ‘normal’ (or rather, familiar) to you.
Remember that the primary job of your mind is to keep you safe (survival) and safe means familiar and familiar is what you saw and experienced in your first family (or guardians) from birth until 7 years. Our families, society, culture, institutions shape our environment, so that we believe that what we experienced when very young is ‘normal.’
Here are some common SIGNS & SYMPTOMS: (mentioned in detail in the previous blog post)
They’re worth repeating….
-dissociation and depersonalization.
-emotional numbness.
-difficulty connecting with others, establishing trust, and forming relationships.
-feelings of isolation and withdrawal.
-feelings of shame, guilt, or low self-esteem.
-a sense of helplessness or vulnerability.
-difficulty establishing personal identity (apart from your family)
-trouble regulating your mood and emotions.
-a tendency to avoid certain people, places, or things. (triggers)
-substance use, especially to help manage mood or emotional symptoms.
-nightmares.
-intrusive thoughts.
-a diminished sense of security and safety in daily life.
-feelings of anxiety and depression
-a heightened response to stress.
-thoughts of suicide, death or dying.
If you have several of these, it’s a good idea to get help and start working through and healing your trauma.
Here are SIGNS OF TRAUMATIZATION:
These may have shown up for the members of your family who lived through the initial trauma. They may:
-minimize the traumatic experience (“Others had it harder” or “It wasn’t that bad.”)
-have difficulty talking about the trauma or they deny it.
-have a hard time expressing emotions and communicating.
-raise their voice or become angry easily (I know this one. There was constant screaming, anger and temper tantrums, growing up in my home).
-have either an overly harsh or mostly uninvolved parenting style.
-use alcohol and other substances to numb or cope with unwanted feelings.
You may have these patterns in your own behavior, though you may not consciously recognize these as effects associated with intergenerational trauma.
Here are some EXAMPLES you may recognize:
Perhaps you’ve always (or often) seen family members using alcohol or other drugs to:
-ease uncomfortable emotions
-navigate tense and difficult situations
-destress after a tough day
So, it may be natural to find yourself turning to alcohol, drugs, for the same reasons. Your family modeled this behavior and you just repeat it.
Maybe, folks in your family don’t share their feelings or show approval and love. So, you may never learn how to share emotions and affection. This may feel ‘normal’ to you, since that’s what you learned growing up. It may become a problem when you are in relationships.
Perhaps your parents were distant or detached, when you tried to show your love or to get their approval (which is normal for children).
As a result, you might:
-feel unsafe expressing your feelings to others.
-always (or often) fear rejection.
-avoid forming attachments and getting close to others.
This is why it is said that intergenerational trauma is also relational trauma.
If you become aware of the impact of your family’s trauma, you can try to do things differently and end up overcompensating.
For example, if there was a feeling of scarcity in your household growing up, you may now indulge your own child(ren) by:
-buying them all they ask more…….and more.
-taking them out to restaurants often.
-going on expensive trips.
Maybe your parents’ inability to express love causes you to tell your family how much you love them, which, at times, may feel a bit uncomfortable for them.
It’s important to understand why these responses and reactions happen.
Why we have TRAUMA RESPONSES:
To understand intergenerational trauma, you must understand the nature of trauma responses.
When you experience a stressful or traumatic event, your body and brain try to protect (survival) you through one of four main responses:
1)fight: fighting and standing up to the threat.
2)flight: fleeing from the threat.
3)freeze: stopping or ‘freezing’ in your tracks and waiting to figure out the best response.
4)fawn: attempting to soothe or appease the source of the threat.
It’s always about keeping your mind and body safe.
Ongoing or repeated exposure to trauma may leave you “stuck” in this response. Since your body wants to get through this event safely, it remains on guard for danger (hypervigilance).
The problem is that this state of hypervigilance or being on constant high alert for possible threats, can cause you a long, lasting impact on your overall physical health, mental health and well-being. It can keep you in anxiety, depression, and affect your physical health; it can be exhausting.
In addition to the above consequences, it can also affect your very biology by triggering changes in the expression of certain genes (not the actual genes themselves). These are epigenetic changes.
EPIGENETICS:
This field explores the ways these heritable changes to DNA affect the function and activity of your genes. These epigenetic changes don’t change or alter the sequence of the nucleotides in your DNA. They don’t change the DNA molecule itself, but they can alter which genes activate and deactivate (similar to an ‘on/off’ switch).
What this means it that trauma can leave a chemical mark (marker) on a person’s genes, which can then be passed down to future generations. Again, this mark doesn’t cause an actual genetic mutation; it alters the mechanism by which the gene is expressed. So, this alteration is not genetic, but epigenetic.
Epigenetics control how or why your genes are expressed.
It’s important to understand this. First of all, those of us who have experienced intergenerational trauma can know that it’s there; they’re not making these things up: the suffering and effects it has on their psyches and lives. Also, it’s encouraging to know that these things can be changed and healed. Yes; it can takes lots of effort, with its ups and downs, but it’s great to know that we can change these ‘markers’ so our kids don’t have them passed down. We can change. We can learn to heal. We can change our path and in so doing, change the paths and history of the generations to come.
What a legacy to leave our children, grandchildren and beyond…………..
With smiles and love,
Dr Gigi
PS: Let’s talk…………
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