Breaking the Chains of Intergenerational Trauma: Part 2
This is the second part of a series discussing Intergenerational (transgenerational) trauma. We’ll go over what it is, how it may show up in people’s lives, its effects and how to start the healing process and journey, so that the chain of intergenerational trauma, extending through generations, can be healed and broken.
As we saw in the last blog post, trauma and traumatic experiences can take many forms and certain types of trauma can have a more profound impact.
Major, large-scale and devastating traumatic events don’t always affect only those who survive them. The toll of the traumatic experiences can continue and reverberate across generations. This is referred to as intergenerational or transgenerational trauma or secondary traumatization. Historical trauma is intergenerational trauma that stems from oppression related to culture, race, or ethnicity.
In the past few decades, it’s been found that this trauma passed down through generations can be felt through multiple areas of life, not just for the survivors themselves but also for descendants, not even born yet when the original trauma occurred (Healthline).
Intergenerational trauma may affect:
-sense of self or personal identity
-overall mental health and well-being
-relationships with family members and romantic partners
-communication patterns
-styles of parenting
The effects of intergenerational trauma (IT) can be far-reaching and complex. First comes awareness that this is part of you and your history. Then, acceptance. Then, you can begin the healing process, which starts your healing and also, minimizes your chances of continuing the cycle. YOU can be the one who breaks the chain!
EVENTS contributing to Intergenerational Trauma (IT):
Researchers first began to explore IT after observing its effects on the children and grandchildren of Holocaust survivors and Japanese Americans forced into internment camps (in the USA) during World War II.
This list of events may be long. If your family: parents or grandparents experienced adverse events, especially throughout their childhood, the aftereffects may very well linger within your family dynamic.
Research is suggesting that adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can have a profound effect on emotional, mental and physical health (Giovanna Torres, MSW). ACEs are typically defined as abuse, neglect and parental mental health conditions.
Sometimes, we are unaware that our parents may have mental health conditions because, over time and living with them throughout our early lives, we may consider their behavior ‘normal’ or familiar; it’s all we know…..
Torres, who works with first-generation individuals to address IT through the use of relational and somatic therapy, says that traumatization can stem from abuse or neglect both in and out of the home.
She says: “Historical context is everything. You might not be someone who considers yourself a victim of trauma. But what is the history or your parents, grandparents, and relatives’ people, within the US or abroad? Did they experience discrimination or abuse on a larger scale that impeded their well-being?”
This is a good point. Personally, I didn’t realize that I had endured Intergenerational trauma until I was 35 years, pregnant with my son and doing an off-Broadway play, called ‘Children Of….,’ where the director brought together 14 children of Holocaust survivors (2G=second generation), including me. Besides it being cathartic, I sure learned a lot and started understanding my parents’ particular and unhealthy behaviors and my unhealthy responses and reactions. Talk about a harsh wake-up call!
SIGNS & SYMPTOMS:
First of all and like anything else, the signs and symptoms of trauma can vary widely from person to person and family to family. As mentioned earlier, many folks become accustomed to living with the impact of IT in a family that may accept it as ‘normal.’ So, the symptoms appear ‘normal’ to them and the trauma becomes normalized. You may begin accepting these symptoms and your behaviors as ‘normal’ yourself; yet feel that there’s ‘something wrong with you,’ or that ‘you’re broken,’ or that you ‘don’t really know how to behave properly within relationships.’
It's not easy to recognize IT, since many of the signs and symptoms can appear as mental health conditions like depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Often, there is PTSD or complex-PTSD involved, also.
Some common SYMPTOMS may include:
-emotional numbness or difficulty experiencing and expressing emotions.
-dissociation and depersonalization, or a sense of disconnection and detachment from your body and feelings.
(With the above two, these may be hard to recognize in yourself. I’ve noticed, through my work as a Life & Mindset Coach, and hypnotist, that many of us are disconnected from our bodies).
Also, the good majority of us believe our thoughts, though most of them are just not true! This makes it difficult to know if/when you dissociate.
Please don’t be frightened of the idea of dissociation. It was just a protective and coping mechanism you used to protect yourself as a young person. Remember that the primary job of your mind is your safety and survival! You can become aware, accept it and work through it, heal and come out with increased resilience and compassion, two vital qualities for life.
-difficulty connecting with others, establishing trust, and forming relationships.
-feelings of isolation and withdrawal (again, for self-protection).
-feelings of shame, guilt, or low self-esteem (you may not know where these come from, so look deeper and look into your family history).
-a sense of helplessness or vulnerability. (This doesn’t mean you are helpless; you just don’t trust that you can do it and so, feel helpless).
-trouble regulating your mood and emotions. (I know this one well. I used to put it up to being a Gemini but it’s not that. It can be scary, this up and down or mood swings. It may be part of IT).
-difficulty establishing personal identity (your identity may be soooo intertwined with your family’s).
-a tendency to avoid certain people, places, or things. (You may not know why this is. They could be triggering you).
-nightmares.
-intrusive thoughts.
-substance use, especially to help manage mood or emotional symptoms.
-feelings of anxiety and depression.
- less sense of security and safety in daily life. (Again, this is the main job of your mind).
-hypervigilance and a heightened response to stress.
-thoughts of suicide, death, or dying.
……..
Again, please don’t get alarmed if you have a few or many of these. Working through this trauma and healing, are possible and the way out………….for you, for your children and for generations to come.
As we mentioned in the last blog post, the good, the bad and the ugly tend to persist, from generation to generation, if not talked about, if there’s no awareness of it and its effects and if the chains aren’t broken.
When there is understanding, of your self and the previous generations, you can start the healing and know you are the one who will change your family…………and its history to come…….!
In part 3 of this series, we’ll go over: signs of traumatization in your family (with examples), the nature of trauma responses, the role of epigenetics, other factors, the impact of trauma and getting help to get to healing.
You may feel that I’m repeating definitions and ideas, over and over again…. and I am. This is somewhat intentional. It takes time for our mind (subconscious and conscious) to absorb all this information and it may take time to relate it to ourselves and our families.
If you do have any questions or suggestions as we move along, please reach out!
With smiles and love,
Dr Gigi
PS: You can reach me @www.gigiarnaud.com and sign up for your free guide: Mindset Hacks & your Clarity Call.
If you recognize yourself in this series, please get help, with a trauma-informed coach, therapist, somatic therapist, etc. Contact me for information and/or referrals.
Be kind & gentle with yourself on this healing journey!
Change your Thoughts, Change your Mind, Change your World