The Ways We Love & Live
Each of us is a unique & beautiful being and we are meant to live our life aligned with who we really are (authentic).
Whether you choose to be single or to be in a relationship, these are both valid options for living your life…and one is not better than the other.
Many of us, particularly in the older generations, were taught that the ‘way’ to do life was to get married, have kids, and, as women, to work some, too.
Things have changed externally. Now, most people are raised with the idea that they must work, in some field, career or profession, to be able to provide for themselves and/or others.
Though folks have always questioned whether these choices were right for them, these days they can question and then, choose the answer they really want, without as much negative feedback.
Is it better to be single or in a relationship?
We are all different and have different wants and needs. Some may feel they want a partner and others may want to enjoy their solitude and company.
This is a decision you make for you, not one to make because your friends are single or are with partners.
We often feel the grass is greener on the other side.
There is no ‘one fits all’ here.
The way you choose to love is as unique as how you choose to make a living, take care of your health or entertain yourself.
Some choose to create a partnership with someone, while others are happy staying single.
When it comes to YOUR life, there is no right or wrong way to be. It is really your personal choice, though our society does put an emphasis on romantic relationships (ie: shows, commercials, marketing, taxes). It may be a bit more challenging (courage) to be single, but you must do what suits you and there are benefits to both ways of living.
BEING SINGLE:
People’s single lives are often portrayed as a waiting time until they find their partner or soul mate. Others often think that single people are unhappy. But experts say that these stereotypes are far from the truth. In a 2008 study in the European Journal of Social Psychology, it was found that single people reported well-being levels similar to those in relationships and that there are many benefits to being single.
BENEFITS OF BEING SINGLE:
1)Your mind is less cluttered.
Relationships take up lots of mental space. There may be time worrying about your partner or ruminating about a quarrel. Emotional discord and worrying may keep you from living in the now.
Being single allows room for new thoughts and dreams to breathe and grow.
2)You’re more open to life….and what comes your way.
Being single, you learn to go with the punches or the flow of life. You just have to be more self-sufficient.
You can chase your ambitions, take risks, have adventures and have more novelty on your life journey. No one is hindering you.
3)You have time for your personal development.
In a relationship, sometimes we stop doing things independently and, in this way, we risk losing touch with ourselves.
Being single gives you some more time for creativity, which is necessary in all facets of life. It can be challenging to balance a relationship with time for creativity.
4)You can figure out what you want out of life.
You can ask yourself what changes you want to make. What classes, groups and new attitudes would you like to develop?
Being single, you have more time and the ability to focus on the one factor that can create the change you’re looking for---------yourself.
5)You have a chance to be financially responsible.
This is a good opportunity to become financially independent, which in our modern world, is important.
When you don’t rely on someone else to help with your expenses, you learn to be resourceful. This can be a wonderful thing for your career and your life.
6)You learn to enjoy your own company.
It can be quite liberating to discover that you enjoy your own company. This can free you from the need to chase others.
When we can appreciate and enjoy being alone, we tend to become more selective about the company we choose, wanting to spent time only with those who improve our lives and our well-being.
7)Self Care.
When single, there are less distractions pulling us away from our self-care and personal development.
We’re required to focus on the areas that need attention.
8)Increase your Confidence.
When you’re on your own, you kind of have to have a strength that you might not see when you’re in a relationship. As a single person, you tap into your inner strength, which often manifests in a greater level of confidence.
When you have a good understanding of your needs, desires and values, this will serve you in all of your relationships, romantic and otherwise.
BENEFITS OF BEING IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP:
These are benefits of all kinds of healthy relationships and some are specific to romantic relationships.
1)Sharing.
Choosing to have a mate or partner gives you the opportunity to share your life with another person.
2)You have comfort and security.
It’s comforting to know that you’re facing the world with a special person, as a united front.
When challenges come up, you can help comfort and strengthen each other.
3)You can (and will) transform.
There is an inevitable transformation that comes from letting a person be an intimate part of your life.
4)Support and less stress.
Knowing that someone loves and supports you when you’re going through your day can boost your mental health, even if they’re not physically present.
5)Better healing.
Having someone there to help you, physically and emotionally, is helpful and promotes better healing.
There’s nothing like good emotional support to help a person to recover from illness or surgery.
6)Healthier behaviors.
If your partner is eating a healthy diet, exercising and learning constantly, you’re likely to do the same. When you’re around people with healthy behaviors, it’s easier for you to do.
7)Sense of purpose.
Being in a loving relationship of any kind, can give you a sense of well-being and purpose. As mentioned in the 2 prior blog posts about PURPOSE (links to blog posts), having a sense of purpose can add years to your life (ie: Blue Zones).
8)Longer Life (not just romantic relationships)
According to research, having social ties can increase longevity.
Everyone is different. Some prefer to be alone and that’s okay but forming a few close relationships can give you noticeable benefits to your physical and mental health.
Sometimes, having at least one good friend (or co-worker, counselor, or therapist) is more than worthwhile. Even just having just one or two strong and healthy relationships in your life can have a positive effect on your health and longevity.
There are benefits both to being single and to being in relationship.
There is no right and wrong. What’s right for one person may not be right for another.
A person may transition between wanting to be alone and wanting to be with another person, throughout their lives.
Whatever your choice or your circumstances are: being single, alternating between being single and in a relationship or being in a relationship, just embrace your life fully, so that, whatever your choice is, you live a fulfilling, long and happy life.
With smiles and love,
Dr Gigi
PS: Are you feeling the need for CLARITY on this subject?
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