It’s Autumn (Fall), the Season for Letting Go

We are heading toward fall (autumn) in the Northern Hemisphere. For some (myself included), it is the end, for now, of warm weather, long days and less clothing.  We may associate the mystery and decline of the fall with dark and evil elements. But when you look at nature and the flow of the seasons, it becomes clear that autumn is a spiritually unique season. Autumn is all about endings, a very natural thing.

In life, each journey finds its end and fall (look at the name) is a seasonal reminder of this natural process.

Letting Go:

As humans, we tend to hold on to what and who we know and sometimes, we cling when we’re better off letting go. We like safety, familiarity and certainty and we may not realize that there’s something better out there for us. We just have to let go and wait.

For those of us who experience the different seasons of the year, we can understand that spring and summer are about growing and harvesting (even if you live in a city or NYC, as I do). Fall and winter are seasons meant for letting go and waiting (or hibernating).

The name says it all: Fall. Plants and trees let go of their old leaves with confidence and grace. They are neither sad nor fearful. Everything that has a beginning also has an end and so, they let go. There’s something to learn from nature; we can be like the trees.

Accepting Impermanence:

Therapists and teachers say it today and The Buddha taught about the impermanence of things thousands of years ago. To develop and create lasting happiness, peace and wisdom, it’s essential to be aware of and accept the impermanence of things. When we attach to impermanent things, people, including our own ego, we are dissatisfied.

Again, be like the trees. They release their leaves in the fall (autumn) and they remind us to let go with joy and confidence. All is impermanent and will end: your people, work, money, home, etc. Our leaves will fall, so we can choose to either live in peace and harmony with the cycles of nature or we can live in fear of losing something that will end anyway.

Let Go Confidently & Trust:

You may be thinking, ‘easier said than done,’ and I would agree. But if we don’t start trusting ourselves, nature and the universe, then we create or extend our suffering.

Intellectually, we know that everything has to end. So, instead of spending energy and getting into turmoil just to hold on to something that will end anyway, let’s let go with confidence and peace and, most of all, learn how to trust……..that better things are yet to come.

Are we afraid that if we lose a leaf or job or person, that no other leaf will grow, that no other work will come or that we won’t meet more compatible people?

This may feel challenging (it is for me) but we must begin to develop a deep trust to be able to let go in a confident and relaxed manner. As we let go of the day to welcome the night, knowing that a new, fresh day is coming, then we can and have to let go……..

Deciding What to Let Go of:

Letting go is part of the cycle that makes way for something new. It can be challenging to know exactly what to get rid of.

Here are some SIGNS to help you decide if it’s time to let go…….

1)It makes you upset.

If a role, person or a habit makes you feel upset or anxious, then maybe it’s less than healthy, even toxic.

You can let go of patterns or situations that are distressing and these reduce stress in your life (de-stressing). It’s time to open up some space in your life to breathe, relax, imagine something new, whether it’s leaving that job that is unfulfilling or that friend or family member who leaves you feeling invalidated.

Be still and take the time to listen to and hear your inner voice, your intuition, identifying what may be bringing down your mood and your peace.

2)It’s just not productive.

No more wasting time on projects or behaviors that don’t offer you something in return. You may be too self-critical or holding onto a grudge or anger that doesn’t help you. Maybe you’re spending too much time scrolling on social media.

It’s necessary to create a strategy that supports you and allows you to spend your time on the things and with the people, that give you joy and do something good for you.

3)It’s destructive.

It’s important to look inside as well as outside. Certain behaviors, like perfectionism, procrastination or sabotaging relationships, may leave you feeling upset and that you’re not enough (not true). These behaviors can be destructive to your personal and professional life.

4)Things you no longer need (that create clutter: physical, mental, emotional).

It’s a good time to go through your belongings and give away whatever you’re not using or you don’t feel you need. Clearing the clutter feels good (and freeing); it opens up more space and feels like you’re letting go of unnecessary items, thoughts, etc.

EXERCISE:

Center yourself and sit with yourself and write down: what you’ve accomplished this year, what you want to say goodbye to and what you still want to complete before the year is over?

Look inside, write down what comes up and let go of the destructive elements of your life (one step at a time) and you can head into this new season happier, more successful, effective and fulfilled.

This can mean letting go of things, thoughts, behaviors and even relationships, that are no longer serving you.

Feel the sensations and stay aware of what lights you up and makes you feel good and what is draining you, stressing you and causing you frustration. The things that are causing you tension are the things to let fall away.

When you take stock like this, you begin to understand that letting go makes room for the new to come in.

It can be hard and we like to cling to the things we’re familiar with. If you know (inside) that it’s time to let go of what’s completed in your life, then you can enjoy preparing for what’s even better to come next.

Like Michelangelo’s process in creating his amazing sculptures, as he chipped away at the stone (marble) until he found what was inside (the sculpture itself, like David), you have to chip away at all the unnecessary and harmful trappings in your life……….and find your essence and your unique beauty inside.

This quote by Leo Tolstoy says it beautifully:

“People usually think that progress consists in the increase of knowledge, in the improvement of life, but that isn’t so. Progress consists only in the greater clarification of answers to the basic questions of life. The truth is always accessible….because a man’s soul is a divine spark, the truth itself. It’s only a matter of removing from this divine spark, everything that obscures it. Progress consists, not in the increase of truth, but in freeing it from its wrappings. The truth is obtained like gold, not by letting it grow bigger, but by washing off everything that isn’t gold.”

-Leo Tolstoy

Keep A Growth Mindset:

As a Life Coach & Mindset Coach, it’s important to remind you that taking the leap and letting go of habits, projects, people, feelings…..can be tough.

It requires a flexible, growth mindset to deal with change, ending and new beginnings. You may long for an experience or person that you let go of and you may feel grief, even if you wanted it to end.

It’s essential to recall that you’ve let go before in your life and you’ve been okay. You’ll do it again and again. You are strong, flexible and becoming more resilient, peaceful and self-loving.

Once you’ve had the courage to let go, it’s time to ask yourself how you want to grow…..?

With smiles and love,

Dr Gigi

PS: It’s a new season! You’re ready to let go and asking yourself how you want to grow (and change).

Sign up for your free Clarity Call @www.gigiarnaud.com and you can get started!